Find Me Without You

How do I keep getting so lost in you, that I lose me

You can’t possibly know the sorrow I feel

You don’t fully understand what I’m going through

To feel so alone even when you’re around

I am fighting all of it, struggling to break free

I’m trapped in the sea

Trapped in the woods

I’m trapped by you

I’m trapped by me

Everywhere I turn there’s a wall

Every road I walk down there’s a fork

There are so many choices yet nothing to choose

I can’t seem to break free of these ropes that tie my mind

Speak chaos

Speak nonsense

I speak nothing

These words mean so much

They speak so true

Can’t be with you

Can’t get away from you

I feel stuck

Immersed in tar

Or gum

Or some other sticky situation that you just can’t find your way out of

Molasses, sap, syrup

No matter how you call it, it’s stuck

I turn in every direction

Searching for help

There’s no help to be found

There’s no way out

Do I choose chaos, destruction, damage, desolation

Madness

I searched for the joy that was promised

The hope that was assured

The love that would have lasted

I can find none of these

Where do I go from here

How do I start again

Where is my new beginning

Do I deserve a beginning

Should this just be the end

Should I accept the Fate that has befallen me

Should I lie down

Close my eyes

Stop my breath

Join the Earth

Let the grass grow over me

Maybe I’ll choose a spot near a tree

Under the shade

Even in death, the darkness should follow for me

Or should I rise like the Phoenix

Fire and storm

Soar and fly

Find my wings

Find my new beginning

End this chapter

And start the next

In this sky

With the clouds

In the blue

In the bright

In the Sun

The joy and happiness

Shining on me

Surrounding me

Embracing me

Telling me that it’s okay to be me

It’s okay

I’m okay

I can stand taller than before

I can fly higher than before

I don’t need you to see me

Because I need to see me

I don’t need you to hear me

I need to hear me

I can get out of the woods

Swim to the shore

Stand by myself

Be stronger than before

You can watch me

You can watch me step away from you

And back to me

Watch me stand strong

On my own

Knowing that I couldn’t lean on you

You can watch me succeed

At being Who I Am

Without You

I’ve never been stronger

Smarter

More determined

Than I am right now

To be Me

Without You