It’s Okay Not to be Okay.

With everything that is going on in the world at the moment, the economy collapsing before our eyes, unemployment rising daily, people getting sick and dying around us with little cure insight. The world that we live has changed very quickly and exposed us all to our fears and venerabilities. 

Everyone prior to this pandemic had their day to day stressors and pressures. But now everything seems overwhelming, the ability to detach from it all is becoming harder and harder and sometimes it all does seem all too much.

Decent night sleep seems like something of the past. Waking at all hours worrying about money, employment, your families health, the worries are endless and overwhelm you at any time of day or night. Personally it feels like the last time a decent night sleep was had was in February or March.

In the beginning working from home and having to adjust was stressful and hard. Waiting on emails, endless Zoom calls and working well beyond the hours expected. Just to keep on top of it all and make sure you are doing a good job. 

Then the layoffs and furloughs began. Like a wave knocking everyone off their feet. Quickly we had to adjust and take on extra responsibilities at work. Suddenly the pressure of work increased and day after day we are told by the Government this is the new normal. It never seems to be ending.

Now work has become the stability. The routine that now seems normal. Sitting at the dining table with coffee and water, chatting to work colleagues like we used to be in the office. Zoom calls around the clock and seeing smiling faces is very reassuring. A familiarity is returning.

But the worry about finances is tough. Not knowing what the future has in store. Trying to make ends meet. Paying bills and rent. There has been very little support, but companies have been understanding. When you go from a two income household to one and then experience a pay cut, it does make the reality come crashing down. But things will eventually improve.

Motivation is hard. Especially when you feel like you are running on empty. Some days are harder than others. Just finding the energy to work Monday to Friday is tough but then having to run a household, cook, clean, pay bills and manage money does make you want to sleep for a week. But it is never decent sleep. The endless bad news from the outside world just doesn’t seem to make the outlook positive and some days you just want to stay in bed and sleep it off, like a bad hangover.

But I am not alone, my colleague Tahyira expressed her circumstance. We might be two different people, but our experience does seems to be similar.

“I’m a bit overwhelmed by all the online events Im producing, but hey its the new norm right…blah. The space for me meeting people is normally at a bar, or at a networking event so it’s really weird for me to lets say, sign off a zoom meeting and feel like I’ve made a true connection.

It also feels like my life is rolling over me, I get up I do my site work and my client stuff, head to the warehouse I work at which is a 5 min commute and back home again. Yet I feel like the days seem like minutes and minutes feel like seconds. I turned around the other day and I swore the clock went from 4:59pm to 5:20pm in a blink. I don’t remember April or May that much.

Some days it feels like I’m falling in and out of touch with reality. On the one hand my dreams are coming through, money is flowing, I am able to pay writers, I am able to invest in myself and others, but in the other real hand, people are dead. It’s like how do you cope with surviving this pandemic? No one is talking about the emotional burden of living in this World when 300K have just left it by the same mode, Coronavirus.”

The small things make life with the pandemic a little bit easier. Zoom calls with my family and friends, does ease some of the strain. Getting out in the morning for early walks in the park helps clear my mind. Sitting on the rooftop, when the weather is nice, does make the day more enjoyable. Taking the time to sit down, have a cup of coffee and listen to music before starting work gives a sense of peace. 

Taking the time for myself, simply helps distract my thoughts for a few minutes and it does help you forget everything that is going on in the outside work just for a moment.

It is definitely a weird time, but nothing lasts forever and I will get through this as I know I am not alone.

Follow Matt D’Silva on Twitter @MattDSilva

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Matt D'Silva View All →

Another Australian living in New York seeing what experiences it will bring. Don’t get me wrong, this has been a dream… about 16 years in the making!

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