Domestic Violence Has No Gender

Recently Johnny Depp lost a libel case in London that labeled him a wife-beater. During the trial, there was sworn testimony by his previous wives stating that he was never violent against them. As well as a recording of his wife stating that she hit him. The recording was obtained by the Daily Mail and released in January.

Heard: “I’m sorry that I didn’t … hit you across the face in a proper slap, but I was hitting you, it was not punching you. Babe, you’re not punched.

“I don’t know what the motion of my actual hand was, but you’re fine, I did not hurt you, I did not punch you, I was hitting you.”

Depp: “I left last night. Honestly, I swear to you because I just couldn’t take the idea of more physicality, more physical abuse on each other.

“Because had we continued it, it would have gotten f—ing bad. And baby, I told you this once. I’m scared to death we are a f—ing crime scene right now

Heard: “I can’t promise you I won’t get physical again. God, I f—ing sometimes get so mad I lose it.”

I can’t say for certain what exactly happened, I can say that we tend to believe women whenever cases like this happen. However, 13.8% of men over the age of 18 experienced severe domestic violence. Men often don’t report violence for fear of denial, shame, or being reversely accused. Men may minimize the physical abuse they receive as a way to protect themselves.

In America, there is an average of 20 people per minute that are physically abused by an intimate partner. That means in one year you can expect more than 10 million men and women will become a victim of domestic violence. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience severe physical violence by their partner.

Domestic violence is defined as the willful intimidation of an intimate partner. This can include physical and/or sexual assault, battery, emotional abuse, or other abusive behaviors as part of a pattern of power and control. Domestic violence can vary dramatically in frequency and severity. Abuse is driven by the need to control and have all the power in the relationship. Typically 20,000 calls are made each day to domestic violence hotlines nationwide.

Abusers will often isolate their victims from family, friends, work, or any outside support that they may have. They have explosive tempers and are violent during an abusive episode. Abusers tend to be apologetic after an abusive episode. They will try to charm their partners with gifts and/or promises that this will never happen again.

In today’s day and age, it is all too easy for Abusers to terrorize their victims.GPS tracking on Smartphone’s helps the Abuser easily stalk their victims. The many different forms of communication make it difficult for victims to escape the barrage of messages. New remote technology enables the Abuser to wield power through digital devices in the home. The Abuser may be able to manipulate the thermostats, lights, and home alarm systems. These methods humiliate and instill fear and a sense of isolation in the victim. The victims of abuse can sustain visible bruising or broken bones. Victims can also suffer from PTSD, confusion, hopelessness, depression, anxiety, and panic attacks.

Abusers often learned this behavior from childhood. They may have watched some type of abuse while growing up and as such have repeated the cycle. They are more likely to have legal and substance abuse problems.

How can you tell if you are in an abusive relationship?

  • Is there a pattern of violence mixed with apologies, gifts, and promises to stop?
  • Are you being isolated from your friends, family, coworkers, or hobbies?
  • Have you been blamed for the abuse? Abusers may say things like “You made me do this!” or “If you followed the rules!”
  • Are you constantly being criticized or embarrassed?
  • Is your partner using money to control you?

There are recourses available to help. If you or anyone you know finds themselves in these situations you can contact the National Domestic Violence hotline.


National Domestic Violence hotline

Call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.

Visit online.rainn.orgexternal icon to chat one-on-one with a trained RAINN support specialist, any time 24/7.

National Sexual Violence Resource Centerexternal icon

Violence Against Womenexternal icon

Call the OWH HELPLINE: 1-800-994-9662

For more information

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Becky DiFilippo View All →

I’m a writer… I love to write! I’ve been writing since I was eight years old. I can’t imagine life without stories. My life, and your life it’s a story that we are writing everyday.

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