I remembered to feeling of going on long car rides with my mom. It didn’t matter what time or day it was. We would start in our driveway and end at the beach.
Her car trekked through all kinds of weather. A few inches of snow, puddles so big it could sink the tires. The best was coming during sunset, and getting to see that blood orange sky. Like most times, we didn’t ever want to go home. But we always knew we would get to go on another long car ride soon.
I’ve gone through life trying to figure out the way I see love and how to describe it. It’s not an easy word to give a definition to, but I think I found something that’s close.
Love is like a long car ride. The excitement of getting to go somewhere, to be with someone. The nerves of not finding your keys, the nerves we feel when something gets too good for us but when we find them we feel at ease.
Much like a car ride, love is unpredictable. Sometimes the path you want to take doesn’t end up happening. And you find yourself lost and trying to get back because what you went down isn’t something you’re used to and you want your normalcy, your safety net back. But then if you continue to keep going you find that the ending is a lot better than you expected. And it makes you forget what you wanted in the first place.
We all want to find the kind of love that’s as smooth and joyful as driving down a long road during golden hour. But, sometimes those same roads are rough and the rain makes it impossible to see out your windows. But you have to keep going because it will clear. It may not be perfect, but it’s enough. You will see the sun again.
You have to know that those good days are going to have bad ones. The ones that can go from laughing and singing along to a song on the radio, to screaming and fighting about missing a turn or wasting what little bit of gas you had left. But it’s those moments that make us realize that love is worth it.
I always thought I needed to find someone who would do everything and be everything to me. Who would worship the ground I walked on and put me so high on a pedestal I couldn’t see the bottom. And even though that stuff can be good, it isn’t what I want.
All I want is for someone to get in a car with me, go for a car ride and forget about the outside world for an hour. To stay with me during a storm or sunset. To look at me in the passenger seat and never want anyone else to take my place.
It’s not an easy thing to find, I’ve come to realize that the hard way. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up. Because it takes time to get it right. It’s not an overnight success, sometimes you have to fix the tires and fine tune the ignition before you feel ready to go for it. And when everything is in it’s right place and there’s no negative or bad sounds, then you’re ready to put your feet on the gas and go for it.
So, I hope you find someone to go on long car rides with.
Most likely writing in my journals or notes in my phone, burying my face in a book, at a concert, laughing or eating fries. Recent college graduate with a ridiculous dream of wanting to write for a living.