Am I so jaded that I cannot watch a love story without venom filling my blood

Have I been so wronged that the sight of someone else’s happiness brings me to madness

To see them laugh

To see them smile

To see them hug

Bile fills my throat

When did I become the me that I am today

So angry

So bitter

So hateful

Was there a time in my life that I could look back on

Or was the whole thing a shit show from the beginning

Have I always been this way

Or did I once long for romance

Did I see myself finding my prince charming

Would I find my soulmate in a unique and memorable way

Maybe I would trip and fall and he would catch me

And our love would blossom

We would dance and sing together

Maybe I saw myself falling for the least expected guy

The one who I couldn’t stand at first but there was just something about him

One day he would be there when I needed him and I would realize

That true love was right before me all along

Did I imagine a happily ever after for me

Or have I always been

This cynical

This contemptuous

This pessimistic

I may never know

Should I take the knowledge I have and change my ways

Should I find a way to soften my cold stone heart

The thought then becomes

Do I want too