The Astrology of Love and Attraction

Oh yeah, in this installment we’re tackling the very reason many people have an interest in astrology at all. What makes for love and attraction in a chart? Let’s find out.

people kissing scene
Kissin’
Photo: Mia Harvey, Unsplash

Let’s start by saying that love and attraction are different. In some cases, very different. But one often one seems to be a requisite for the other, at least in terms of romantic love, which is what we will be talking about here.

There are many factors that go into other types of love: familial, platonic, parental, and so on. They all have their markers as well, and are often just as apparent. But it is romantic love which usually draws people to become interested in astrology to begin with. A short Google search on astrology will quickly take you down a rabbit hole of “twin flames,” “Karmic relationships,” and generally lustful themes.

And thusly, we will first dive into what the cosmos says is sexy between two people. What exactly is all that chemistry that makes us want people after seeing them only for a moment? What makes someone merely good looking versus what makes us ache with desire for them?

person touching clear shower glass
“Oof,” as the kids say
Photo: Skyler King, Unsplash

The most fundamental of building blocks is Venus. However, I want to point out from the get go that Venus is not “love,” she is attraction. And we can attract many things. We attract wealth, we attract attention, we attract conflict. Venus is also what we “like.” I like good food, but I’m not literally trying to get married to pizza. Although, more power to you if that’s what you want.

But more importantly, Venus is the passive end of the equation. Venus doesn’t run after what she wants, she puts on a glamorous show to make things come to her. Yet, without her, it’s all one-sided energy. There is no sensuality to it. It would all be aggressive energy. And there must be some part of us that “gives in” to our desire, no matter the gender.

So Venus is the Yin side of our equation (as opposed to Yang which is masculine). She receives. But, what is the opposite of that? Mars, of course.

Mars is our warrior. He’s the sweat and grit of the balance. He’s cut, ripped, muscular, large and in charge. He goes out and takes what he wants. This god of war sees and seeks out things he desires. Again, we all have this. Everyone’s horoscope has both Venus and Mars within it. And it is that urge to “hunt” our prey that gives us the drive to ravish a person we must have.

So, the hottest, most basic aspect in astrology between two people is Mars conjunct Venus. Now, it is at this point I must mention a very particular type of astrology that calculates all of this: Synastry. This is when we take two people’s astrological charts and overlay them to see where our planets fall in relation to the potential partner’s planets. And if you see your Venus on top of another’s Mars (or vice versa), then this aspect indicates severe passion. It’s difficult to ignore, let alone not act on.

white sheer blanket
She needs a towel
Photo: Ava Sol, Unsplash

But, there is much more. And I must reintroduce an old friend of ours: Pluto. Whoa yes, this most potent god of the underworld is definitely involved in all the sexiness we experience. He is magnetic. He makes people want something even if they want to not want it. If that confuses you, think of a time when you wanted something so badly, but you knew it might not be good for you. This is Pluto.

He is also the basis for Karmic relationships. The draw is so strong you inevitably get involved, but at what cost? There is a lot of drama and things can get out of control fairly quickly. Sometimes his presence indicates a whirlwind, extreme love affair that doesn’t last very long. Now, this isn’t always the case. Many couples have Pluto contacts and stand the test of time. Some would say that it is required. But, there is an element of danger here. In the worst of cases, there is even violence. But this is not typical. It’s more of a “bad boy” energy.

So, if we add that to what we know, that Venus and Mars are our building blocks for attraction… and Venus or Mars touches another’s Pluto, the sparks are going to fly. But, sometimes it is a love/hate scenario. This is a lot of make-up/break-up, have sex and repeat kind of cycles. Yeah, I think we’ve all been there. Not always healthy, and sometimes downright toxic. But, some people either can’t, or won’t, have it any other way. And that’s the issue. It’s addictive.

woman hugging man
You know…
Photo: Erik Lucatero, Unsplash

But let’s shift gears. We’ve been all spice and no sweetness. Love is what many of us crave. So, now that we’ve got all the passion, how does it turn to something more?

Well, let’s start with the Moon. In previous articles, we’ve discussed the Moon as being our emotions, our underbelly, our “id.” And that is certainly true. Hence, without the Moon, there is no emotional connection.

So, once again, let’s take our building blocks and add some more. For starters, if a person’s Venus contacts another’s Moon, this adds a very sensuous flavor to their relationship. Venus “attracts” the Moon’s “feelings.” Gettin’ pretty simple, ain’t it?

What about Mars and the Moon? You bet. However, this one can be a little explosive, depending on what angle the contact is. The square (90 degrees) and opposition (180 degrees) can be difficult. Even the conjunction (0 degrees) is really not that great, but not doomed. However, the soft aspects such as the sextile (60 degrees) or the trine (120 degrees) are far more agreeable and really point to emotional excitability.

But then there is Neptune. He is the transcendent love people look to. Neptune is dreams, drugs, delusions and dissolving. The kind of love that makes you melt. And if he touches your Venus, it can be a love that blinds you. And that is the down side. If the aspect is hard, we often find lies involved. Or, maybe a person that simply cannot see the flaws of a another. So, while this may be the most common form of “mystical love” many aspire to, if you find you’re actually walking on groundless mist instead of earth, you will definitely fall. And that fall is a rude awakening when it occurs.

person standing near the edge of a mountain near clouds during day
The fog of love
Photo: Joshua Earle, Unsplash

There are so many more combinations that lead to “true love” that I haven’t been able to cover here. And as is my usual disclaimer, this list is far from exhaustive. In fact, Saturn, our god of stability is actually a huge factor in making sure our love lasts. But, that can be a bit boring for some. So, I’ve left him off the list for now. Maybe another time we’ll plumb the depths of commitment.

So, I hope I’ve given you a beginning structure for how love blossoms between two people, astrologically. And, I look forward to our next talk of how the universe brings us all together.

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Joshua S. Toms View All →

Adventurer, writer, American patriot.

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