There is a reason America is the most obese nation on Earth. Thanksgiving is here and with it, America spends nearly 1.3 billion dollars on their holiday dinner, according to the American Farm Bureau Federation. To put this into perspective, that’s about $50 for every ten people! Being the one day of the year we indulge in these foods, it would only make sense to spend money full throttle this Thanksgiving. However, some food is worth spending more money on than others. Through a one sentence review of every Thanksgiving food out there (or at least, the ones that matter), we can see how to balance our budget and how well the taste delivers when on the table. So, here we go:

Turkey: The star of the show, not the best food there but the juices never disappoint

Stuffing: The second star of the show; classic stuffing is the best

Cranberry Sauce: Tastes best when cold and provides numerous health benefits

Mashed Potatoes: Can be either the best food there or a disappointment depending on how you make it

Sweet Potatoes: Some include marshmallows, but sweet potatoes always seem to come out good no matter how it’s made

Green Bean Casserole: Worth a spoonful solely due to the fried onions at the top

Homemade Macaroni and Cheese: Some don’t consider it a Thanksgiving food; we shun those people

Brussels Sprouts: Best when roasted and topped with breadcrumbs, not worth the effort

Gravy: The only food (besides turkey and stuffing) necessary for Thanksgiving. It not only tastes excellent on its own but it saves the taste of other food in a way that other Thanksgiving food can never compare. Lard up the plate with gravy and you have a perfect Thanksgiving dinner. We know we promised one sentence reviews but gravy is to amazing to describe in one sentence. Moving on:

Dinner Rolls: Just an appetizer before the main event, nothing too special

Corn: Pretty bland

Glazed Carrots: See the previous entry

Candied Yams: See the previous two entries

Butternut Squash Soup: See the previous three entries

Tofurkey: Absolutely not

Ham: More associated with Christmas, but still acceptable for Thanksgiving

Cornbread: The inferior Thanksgiving appetizer

Wine: Perfect for family arguments

Now let’s get into the desserts:

Pumpkin Pie: Usually comes out either too spicy or too sweet, still necessary for Thanksgiving

Apple Pie: Tastes excellent and classic; Definitely buy an apple pie as making it takes almost 3 hours

Pecan Pie: The best Thanksgiving pie out there: https://tremg.info/2021/11/19/pumpkin-pie-vs-apple-pie-vs-pecan-pie-which-is-best/

Sweet Potato Pie: Two incredible Thanksgiving foods combined into one

Cheesecake: Can never go wrong

Chocolate Pie: We can never say no to chocolate

Freshly baked Chocolate Chip Cookies: Best when warm and gooey

Pumpkin Spice Cake: Because pumpkin spiced lattes weren’t enough

Cinnamon Roll: Unlike pumpkin pie, it strikes the perfect balance of spicy and sweet

Hot Chocolate: Great for winter and binging in the holiday season

And so there you have it: every relevant Thanksgiving food summarized in one sentence. Now you know which foods to stuff your face with and which food to give as leftovers. So, grab a plate (and your gravy) and enjoy your Thanksgiving feast. God bless America and God bless obesity!