Adult Children are not the Problem…

Its childrearing, it’s parenting, its society. Regardless if a child is being raised or not, parents need to ask themselves one question, did I really want to be a parent?

As an adult child myself, I always had a problem getting a job and later keeping one but I graduated from college without getting an internship as I would have like because I was not a A or B student and no, I have never partied. I had earned my adult child position in my home by doing household chores except cooking, however, I can make rice, eggs, tea, coffee and toasts. In my last semester of college, I became an adult child officially when I knew I was not considering moving out of my home and when I was financially able to contribute to the household- I always had whether it was buying a family dinner for the night or grocery shopping. I tried to be as useful as possible.

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According to a recent Pew Survey, two-fifths of dad believe that adults who are living with their parents are bad concept for society. Financially, there have been questions being raised regarding adult children and rent. Should they pay to stay in their own homes? The Coronavirus had raised the issue of adult children when it send adult children back to their parents’s homes. Its true that a grown child with a good job can make living with their parents a wonderfully financial benefit for everyone, saving money and pay any debts while paying little or nothing for food shelter. Jim Kinney believes most adult children who live with their parents should pay some rent. Sigelman has said all parents really ask in return is to see an adult child trying to make some kind of progress. If they are in school, working on a degree, looking for a job and making a plan to leave. { More adult children are living with their parents. Parents are not pleased. Daniel De Vise 12/16/22}

And for those parents – particularly fathers who think adult children are a problem for society, it should be known that most fathers do not raise their own children most of the time. The adult children that they are housing whether it’s their own or not is still part of a household in a society that is not run by a single man or woman but by guidance. A guidance that takes forms in many authorities such a teachers, doctors, nurses, churches, presidents and yes, a mother and father, parents and following… uncles, aunts and cousins.

Both Generation Z and millennials are adult children who are still living at home that therapists have called this household arrangement ” failure to launch” and had suggested ways to solve this societal problem on how to move the adult children out. While there are benefits of living at home that is widely accepted in other cultures where children are being raised with their grandparents and cousins; there’re some serious mental health problems that can arise like depression and anxiety where family member’s role in a household can become overwhelming. However, there are some parents who do want their children to leave because they are tired of being parents.

But yes, of course, parents do get tired of being parents and yes, adult children should be able to pay rent if they can- I admit I did not understand that at first but moms and dads can not work forever- they will get older and would not be able to in their old age. But parents should also think really hard about who they are too- people who decided to extend their families by making other people and if parents do hate having their adult children living with them, then they shouldn’t have children to begin with.

The reasons why adult children may not want to leave must be talked about whether it is due to fear of being alone or the lack of will to survive on their own. It has been suggested that if adult children do come back to their parent’s home, they should be given a contract of how long they can stay and what is expected of them as household members. If adult children are paying rent, the law allows the adult child to be served legal documents to get them out just as any tenant would be. { How to get your own children to move out Elaine Silvestrini April 28, 2022 Kiplinger}

Living on my own was never something I thought about because I am surrounded by family that supports me so why would I leave? I would only have left my home as a married woman which is something that is cultural and an agreement that I had made with my parents long ago. That agreement may have been honorable before but times have changed where marriage is no longer a part of my future. I never consider paying rent in any home a sign of independence but sense of responsibility that does show a sign of independence. I do have the independence to do whatever I need to do and I am always checking in which is a sign of any responsible child and I am not ashamed of my lifestyle but I have said on occasion, if at any point, I do need to leave my home, all there is to do is let me know and I will leave. However for right now, I am the happiest I have ever been.

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