Void of Breath

I’ve played many roles in my life and wore many hats

Throughout all of it, I have remained sane, solo, and prosperous.

Enjoying the many fruits of my labor I have never understood pain or sorrow

The world seemed to be mine for the taking

Until I met you…

Now my mind is filled with thoughts of desperation and despair.

Not knowing how to fill the void that is in me.

A hole so wide and so deep and there’s no jumping over it.

There are two paths around this hole. 

The righteous path or the deceptive path 

I need to choose a path and follow it

I’ve walked halfway through both and still cannot see the end. 

So I turned back in the hole is bigger, a void pulling everything in it. 

I stand and watch as my most precious memories are being dragged into this black pit. 

I take a breath I need to get the pieces back to make myself whole again.

I jump into the darkness and my fears take over.

The blackness surrounds me.

I feel it as it suctions itself to my body.

I choke my lungs feel empty crying for one breath. 

Gasping for a small drop of oxygen to get me through the night

I pray that God releases me from my fear.

Let me grab hold of something.

My hands frantically reaching out for anything to bring me back to reality

I feel a limb and I grab hold.

I close my eyes and only with my mind can I see the way out.

I can see the light and the steps to get me out.

I grab at the bottom one just inches short.

I grab a full breath I taste the sweet taste of oxygen and swing from the limb.

Up the steps

I climbed them, hundreds of steps to get out.

As I reach the top I see the doorway brightly lit for me to walk through.

I take a deep breath in and step through.

As I open my eyes I decided to begin my day anew without you

With a new hat and a new role

This time I will be happy