I hate horror movies. I really do. It’s nothing to do with them, it’s me. I can’t handle them. I scare very easily. So, I tend to stay away from them. But I figured if I watch it in the middle of the day then maybe it would be better. Since nothing, in my experience, is worse then watching a horror movie and then immediately trying to go to sleep. I thought I’d be fine. Nope. Didn’t work. Still scarred. I went in mentally prepared for a spooky ghost movie. That’s what I got. But did you know that there is also a spooky clown/puppet scene too? I didn’t. That wasn’t fair. You can’t just lie about the spooky stuff in your movie. That’s messed up. Halloween (1978), a slasher movie, doesn’t have a scene with spooky vampire or something, it’s all slasher. Or at least I think it was. I admittedly watched it through the cracks in my fingers so there might have been a vampire, I don’t know. Anyway, my only saving grace in this movie was that I spent the first thirty or so minutes trying to figure out who played the Dad. It’s Craig T. Nelson by the way. Voice of Mr. Incredible. He also played Coach in Coach if you’re old enough for that to mean anything to you. But after that I was forced to focus on the movie and get scared. It’s a scary movie. It very much succeeds in that regard. The best review a horror movie can probably get is one where the reviewer just talks about how scared they were instead of the movie itself. I get why it’s so popular. The actors do a great job. The writing is really clever and actually makes you care about the family from early on. Also, all the jump scares are really well executed and it’s not over done. Even me, a scaredy cat, stops getting scared when movies over use jump scares or do them poorly, where you see them coming. Poltergeist is really smart with its jump scares and kept scaring me. But at the end of the day, it’s really just not for me. I’m just not a horror guy. I can appreciate them. But I prefer to do that from afar. If you like horror movies then… well you’ve probably already seen this movie. So, I guess I’ll just tell you that its on Netflix if you want to watch it again. If you don’t like scary movies then don’t watch this. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Watch something happy instead. It’s OK. No one will make fun of you. Now, if you all don’t mind. I’m going to go watch videos of puppies to help me forget the horror of Poltergeist (1982).
