We never want to be her. We will spend many girl nights out talking about her. How can she tear up a family like that? He is married for goodness sake! The side chick. The clean up woman. The homewrecker. We all have had these conversations about these cruel, heartless women who knowingly date men who have a girlfriend or a wife.
There are many women who have played this role.Some of them had no idea and was completely blindsided. Never did they have a hint that their man belongs to someone else.
Then you have the ones that prefer their men be taken. They thrive on the excitement of doing something taboo. It’s also a confidence boost for some. They think to be able to take another woman’s man says she is a better woman. Checkmate!
For those who had no idea that they were the side piece, I’am sure when you look back on the entire relationship there were signs that were in front of you. Either you were too clouded by love to see or just plain ignored it. Either way there are signs to tell if you are the side chick.
You Have Never Met His Friends and Family
You keep hearing about his best friends but have never seen them. He tells you about the barbecues and family reunions, but he never extends an invitation for you to come along and bring your famous pasta salad. Holidays come along and you are spending them without your bae by your side. You celebrate Valentine’s Day on the 15th of February. The guy you are dating may have a reason why he isn’t letting you in his inner circle. Could it be he already he has a special someone?
One time the opposite for me was true. I was the sidepiece, however he invited me to a cook out at his family’s house. They treated me so disrespectful. Even asked in front of me why did he invite me. I ended getting mad and leaving. Come to find this fool had a wife! She called me and said, “So, you are the reason why I couldn’t go to the bar-be-que!” Go figure!
He Won’t Connect With You On Social Media
Everyone is on social media. Can you possibly think of anyone who isn’t? Instagram, Facebook, Snap Chat, and other social media outlets are ruling our lives right now. Who isn’t out there flexing for the Gram? If your bae tells you he doesn’t have an Instagram or Facebook, he is definitely hiding something. If he won’t let you be his friend on FB, he has another life you don’t know about. I have heard so many women say he won’t post me. He is keeping you hidden for a reason!
His Address is Non-Existent
You have no idea where he lives. He has never suggested you stay at his place or at least swing by. He only comes to your home or spends the night at your house. It’s highly likely he lives with another woman. He doesn’t have time to hide all of her hair products and make-up for you and put it back by the time she comes back home. And trust, we all know when a woman has decorated a home. We can tell on the spot if a woman lives there.
Everything Is Scheduled
He never just happens to be in the neighborhood and shows up at your door to surprise you. Nothing random ever happens. Everything is planned to the T. Nothing is ever last minute. He will see you from 7pm to 11pm, not a minute sooner or later. Even when you can talk or text is planned, only at certain times. “Don’t call me until after 6pm and no later than 10pm.” Why?
After 12 Before 6
You never see your guy in the daytime. He only comes over late at night and never spends the night. After 12am, before 6am is your usual hours. Booty call hours. If you have never seen the light of day with him, he doesn’t want to be seen with you in the light.
He Is Shady Boots With His Phone
He never seems to put his phone down. It’s always connected to his hand or pocket. He guards the phone with his life. It has a secret code on it and in order to get into it he has to slit his finger and put a drop of blood on the screen. Okay, maybe not exactly that drastic but you get the drift. What is he hiding that he doesn’t want your eyes to see?
He Avoids Taking Pics With You
We all love to take selfies, especially pics of our men. All cuddled up with your babe cheesin’ for the ‘Gram. The saying is it’s not official until it’s on the book, meaning Facebook. However, every time you take out your phone to capture your special moments, he avoids the camera or makes an excuse to not take a pic. Chances are, there is rationale behind why he doesn’t want to be on your social media profiles. His main girlfriend will see the pics.
Say My Name, Say My Name
When you are on the phone with him, he cuts his conversations short or he talks in kindergarten sentences. Very vague dialogue and he never says your name. He does not want the main chick to know he talking to his side chick.
These are some signs that you might be a side chick. Being the side chick is a hurtful position to play. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, going this route will not take you there. Be up front and honest about the way you feel. Let him know you feel like you are not number one is his life. You have every right to want to be his one and only.
Business and mindset coach here. Empowering you to find your passion, build your business, and live the life of your dreams! Check out my podcast debuting in Feb. 2021 Your Small Business Podcast. A platform where small businesses can put their business in the spotlight and grow! Email me if interested in being on the show at email@example.com
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