Do you have a friend who’s mentioned their life coach and you thought, “what the heck is a life coach?” Well, you’re not alone. While life coaching is becoming rapidly more popular, many still have no idea what it is. But we’ve got your back. We sat down with Tarilyn Winberg, certified life coach and owner of Tarilyn Winberg Coaching to get all the answers.
What is a life coach?
A Life Coach is a wellness professional who helps people gain perspective on their life and mind. Coaches assist their clients in gaining control over numerous aspects of their life through brain work. The goal is to eliminate thoughts that are ultimately creating reactions of fear, stress, overwhelm or anxiety. They help with rewiring the brain, setting goals and overcoming obstacles their clients may be facing. A Life Coach is not a substitute for a therapist who will treat mental disorders and diseases. Life coaching is about taking healthy people and helping them find joy within their various roles.
How is life coaching different from therapy?
“Life coaching is different from therapy in that we don’t go into the past,” says Winberg. “If something from the past was bugging somebody then we would take a look at it but coaching is a causal approach…so we get to the root of the problem.” She then gave examples of how to apply her coaching model. “If you were overweight, instead of telling you ‘don’t eat this food, eat this food, exercise this amount,’ the cause of the problem is going to be something more internal in your brain. There is a reason you are overeating. It’s not just because you’re broken, so we would figure out the cause behind it to then resolve it. Or like yelling at a child. We would look at the cause of it, which is not the child. We go internal to the person and find the cause and go from there.”
Who would you recommend life coaching to?
“Everybody. Seriously, everybody could use a life coach. It’s not just for people who think they have a big problem, but for anybody who is into investing in themselves, to better themselves. Anybody who is into self-help would benefit from a life coach. It isn’t just the really big things. It’s just taking a look at your life and saying ‘ok, this thought is causing this result’ and then you can decide. “is this how I want to continue living or do I want to change this thought so I can get a different result?”
Winberg explained that her coaching approach is very goal-centered. “If you’re launching a business or growing a business, then you can use coaching to set your goals and go from ‘ok this is where I’m at now, I’m making x amount of dollars and I want to grow my business to make x amount of dollars, how am I going to get there?’” She says she helps people ask and answer essential questions in setting goals such as, what do I need to do? What do I need to think? Who do I need to become in order to reach this goal?
The goal-oriented life coach says that life coaches often use a certain type of equation or model where they plug in your thoughts and the feeling it’s creating and the actions and the results, in any situation. Follow Winberg on Instagram to learn more about this model. @TarilynWinbergCoaching
Do you specialize in a certain demographic?
I work a lot with women and mothers.
Why could mothers specifically benefit from life coaching?
“Because I find that a lot of moms forget to take care of themselves. When you become a mother, it’s such a shift in your identity and who you are that women tend to get lost in motherhood and they forget who they were before they were a mom,” she explains. “They think there isn’t time to do the things that they want to do because of their motherhood or they think they can’t do the things they want and be a good mom at the same time. So, mothers really benefit because I help them re-learn how to get in touch with themselves and love themselves and to honor themselves enough to take care of themselves and to put themselves first so they can better take care of their children. Because when we love ourselves, then we show up better for everybody else in our lives.”
Do you feel that since you’re a mom yourself you can better serve other moms?
“Yes, because I used to hate being a mom,” she confided. “I would do everything that I could to not spend time with my children. They were in school, they were in sports, I was working. Weekends were tough. Weeks off school, I dreaded, and then summer was just… I died. I tried to do everything I could to avoid being contained in a household together. So, I have done a lot of work on myself through coaching. I always loved my children but now I love being with them and love being a mom and appreciate everything that comes with it, even though it’s still hard. The hardness and the difficulties and all those negative emotions, the frustration and the anger, that hasn’t gone away but that doesn’t dictate my experience now of motherhood. I still have joy in motherhood and to the point where I have all of my kids home now during the pandemic and I’m homeschooling.”
What made you want to become a life coach?
“I started listening to a podcast that a friend of mine who is a life coach sent to me. As I was listening I thought ‘this is amazing!’ I joined her group coaching program and as soon as I got in there I had this overwhelming feeling and thought, ‘I need to share this.’ This is way too good to just absorb and keep to myself. It was kind of like finding the cure for cancer sort of. I was like ‘I have the answer!’ Some people are going to come to me and say ‘This isn’t what I’m looking for,’ and that’s fine. It’s not for everybody. It was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time and for so many other women and so many other people it’s been exactly what they needed in their lives too. I just had that sense of like I need to share this with everybody and if I can even help them a little bit, switch their experience of their life, even if I can’t take away the hard things, I can switch the way they experience it, then I think that I’ve impacted the world and that I’ve helped women and mothers be better and therefore trickling down into everybody.
If your clients got just one thing out of your life coaching, what would you want it to be?
“I want people to recognize their innate value as a human and that they are just as valuable and just as worthy as everyone else and that they are enough. I think that was one of the biggest turning points in my life too, is when I finally started believing that I was enough as a human. That I was enough as a mother, as a wife, as a friend. In all these different areas: I am enough. I was finally able to tell myself that I am enough. And that’s what I want for everybody else. If they just got one thing out of coaching I want them to know their enoughness.”
Tell me about the group coaching you are currently doing
“I do take one-on-one clients to capacity but I still wanted to offer help to others so it’s slightly different than my one-to-one packages because that is focused solely on the person and their issues and what’s going on with them,” she explains. “But this group program that I’ve created I’ve just taken the most common struggles that I’ve found with the clients that I do coach and broken it down into 8 weeks and each week I just teach on one of these topics and then I open it up for discussion and then do some coaching. Which is a really unique way of doing the coaching because when you’re in front of a group and you’re getting coached or when you’re the one watching, the experience is different than one-to-one. If I’m coaching you, especially if it’sa really charged topic, it’s something that’s really fresh and painful for you, your brain potentially is going to be on defense. But if you’re watching somebody else get coached, your brain is not on defense, it’s just relaxed and so you can observe it and then apply it to your own life and maybe in a completely different area but be like ‘Oh I see how this pattern is happening for her and I can see it also in my life’ and sometimes it can just be enough to trigger that little bit of an awareness and that switch to create something different for you even without you being coached and just watching somebody else get coached.”
What would you tell a young mom considering hiring a life coach?
You’re worth investing in. You’re worth the investment.
Can people coach themselves?
“I think a lot of people are sometimes like ‘Well why can’t I just do this on my own?’ And the only thing I say to that is it’s like if you were a gymnast. You can watch the YouTube videos, you can read all about it and you can read all the things and you can get as good as you can get and you can keep practicing and going at it on your own which is fine because you’re going to improve. You’re going to continually improve but as soon as you get a gymnast coach, then they look at you and they say ‘nope, your toes aren’t pointed, your knees aren’t bended quite right. This angle isn’t proper.’ They see it from the outside and they see things you can’t necessarily see and then they direct you toward how it’s actually supposed to be and feel and then you feel it and then you can continue. So, the progression and the improvement is so much faster with a coach. So, you can do it on your own, you totally can. But it’s slower. If you wanted to make faster and even bigger changes, then having a life coach from the outside looking in will lead to 10x the results.”
Now that you know all about life coaching, you can decide if hiring a life coach or joining a group coaching class is right for you. Have you been looking for motivation? Trying to gain control over your life and feel fearlessly confident like you once did? Now might be the perfect time to take the plunge and find a coach. Remember, you’re worth investing in. Good luck on your journey toward wellness, joy, and fulfillment.