My Journey to *FINALLY* Being Comfortable with My Body

It’s been a long time comin’….

I’ve been unhappy with my body for as long as I can remember, and some of my most vivid childhood memories include getting bullied for being overweight. While most kids lose their “baby fat” sometime in their pre- or early teen years, that just wasn’t the case for me. I stayed heavy all throughout middle school and high school, and I reached 190 pounds by the time I graduated.

Fast forward a couple years and I ended up getting pregnant. While I only gained 25 pounds during my entire pregnancy and I looked relatively slim, I was still very uncomfortable with my changing body for many different reasons. I was in an extremely fragile state emotionally, and I can honestly say that I didn’t enjoy being pregnant at all.

Believe it or not, I was 6 months pregnant in this picture.

Bringing a life into this world can stir up a multitude of feelings and emotions, especially for someone who has to take care of the child on their own. Whether I felt like I had a great parenting day or I totally screwed things up, I would either reward or punish myself with food every day. The stresses of single parenthood catapulted me into a depression that I tried to fix with food. Cakes, cookies, and pies became the band aids used to cover up the deep hurt I felt inside.

Despite my low self-confidence, I mustered up the courage to join the dating world. After a few years of kissing frogs, I found Prince Charming in my current fiancé. As our relationship progressed, I gained 40 pounds of “happy weight” from his delicious cooking and our mutual love of Mexican food. Before I knew it, I hit my highest weight of 227. Stepping on the scale and looking in the mirror made me feel disgusting. I was ashamed that I let myself get that big so, naturally, I comforted myself with food. Ironically, I began working as a mental health advocate. How could I possibly help other people recover from their mental health struggles when I wasn’t even able to get control of my own?

On our 2018 trip to Havre de Grace, MD. I didn’t even realize how big my arms were.

In January of 2019, I finally had enough of feeling sorry for myself and decided to make some serious changes. I realized that if I kept going on the unhealthy path that I was headed down, I wouldn’t be able to keep up with my son, and I would potentially miss out on experiencing all the cool adventures that life has to offer.

I’m a naturally early riser, so I began taking a 30 minute walk around the neighborhood every morning. Since my fiancé manages a vitamin store, he encouraged me to incorporate a few supplements into my every day routine. I took his advice and began taking B-12 to increase my energy levels, Turmeric to relieve the inflammation in my back and knees, and Magnesium for the occasional constipation I experienced. I was also able to modify my eating schedule to where I only ate three meals and one snack. After a month, I had way more energy, I noticed a huge difference in how my back and knees felt, and I even lost 15 pounds!

One of the rare times that I felt cute enough to take a picture.

I have kept my daily routine relatively the same for almost two years, except I have now started Intermittent Fasting where I only eat between 12 PM and 5 PM everyday. Another major change that I’ve made is cutting out all soda and juice and only drinking lemon water. I’m trying to work my way to drinking plain water, but I’m just not there yet.

Starting my weight loss journey was far from easy, but I had (and still have) a very supportive partner and son to keep me motivated and inspired. All in all, I’m down a total of 30 pounds with about 20 pounds to go until I hit my goal. Although I do have a goal weight, I’m much more focused on how I look and feel. It’s a very slow process, but I’m finally learning to be comfortable with my body. I’m realizing that it’s perfectly okay to have curves and it’s not the end of the world if my stomach pokes out a little more than it should because for nine months, it housed one of the greatest blessings of my life.

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