I’ve been feeling in a funk lately. I’m not going to sit at my desk and lie to you that I have my life together and everything is going great.
That’s not to say some things in my life recently have made me rethink that manifesting and writing my goals down does come true eventually. I’m very thankful for the opportunities life has brought me lately. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that everything is perfect now.
I said before how my weeks have been feeling like just one continuous day stringing me along until I can’t take it anymore. By the time I get to that point though I’m already in such a dark place that climbing out of it isn’t always easy.
I used to be able to do such a good job at pretending that everything was okay that I wouldn’t even notice that I wasn’t. I could go for days feeling so out of myself that it just became normal.
But lately, I’ve been feeling such immense burnout. Maybe it’s finally seeing that my days do feel the same. Maybe it’s piling so much stuff to try to get done in one day that it feels impossible but fulfilling once I get it done, even if it took so much out of me to do it. Maybe it’s because the minute I come home from a long and grueling day of work that I feel the need to keep working and staying busy to feel contentment at the end of the day. Maybe it’s because I didn’t know it took feeling so tired and drained that I had to physically stop myself from doing anything else for me to notice.
There’s this toxic and unhealthy trend that went around about this idea of a “hustle” culture. That in order to be your absolute best you had to be doing something all the time, and if you weren’t you were ultimately seen as lazy. I put it into my mind that I had to be doing something that it almost drove me crazy.
Society wants us to believe that in order to succeed in life you have to be working on overdrive and overtime. That there are no days off or rest.
But I don’t want to live like that anymore. I don’t want to fit society’s ideal image or become a mold of who I should be to them. Sure, I like my schedule and planning things out for my next day. But I also like crawling into bed a couple hours before I sleep and read or go on my phone. And that’s okay.
You’re still succeeding even if you take a break or don’t get everything done that you wanted to in that day.
Because guess what? There’s always tomorrow. So, thank your body and mind and put it at ease.
Most likely writing in my journals or notes in my phone, burying my face in a book, at a concert, laughing or eating fries. Recent college graduate with a ridiculous dream of wanting to write for a living.